My cat died...

My cat just died, I feel terrible
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Thank you for your condolences, I'm really glad that the internet has so many understanding people.

My cat was merely 4.5 years old, we found him on Easter abandoned on the streets, by pure coincidence, I think he was about a month old then.

Here is a video of him playing in my grandma's house (few weeks after being found): www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgsehF…

I shared some great experiences with my cat, I was never lonely, every time returning home, my cat was always happy to see me. And every night it would knead and purr before going to sleep. He loved sitting on my lap while I were on the computer, or just sitting behind the laptop screen and trying to catch my hand when I used the mouse.

My cat started having problems in spring, but we didn't take him to the vet, since we were able to cure him in about a day, and vets are extremely expensive here, given the recession. This time, however, it was too late. I diagnosed him with FLUTD (Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease). By the time it got serious enough, it was weekend, meaning no vets were open. I did all I could, giving him all sorts of treatments, but it was just a useless torture for my cat. I hoped he'd make it through the night but he didnt. He seemed quite calm, just the occasional vomiting or trying to pee. He died in my hands. It wasn't very peaceful, but at least he wasn't screaming or moaning, so at least I hope he died painlessly, more or less. It was a really awful and traumatizing experience to see him die [VERY GRAPHICAL, MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ FURTHER], after he was already dead, he would twitch and choke, making me think he's still struggling to breathe, after about a minute he'd even start to move like he's running, but it was a post-death nervous system shock...

I don't think I did all I could, so I have no choice but to blame myself for it's death. This makes it even harder on me.

However, in those 4.5 short years, my cat had a good life, he was loved, he was cared for. I think that's what matters in the end.

Here's the last picture of my cat taken yesterday (sorry for the quality): www.upload.ee/image/842339/02-…

Rest in peace, my friend.